Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Happy Anniversary, to me!! (and Mike, too)

If your looking for a sweet romance, I'm sorry, but you wont find it here.
Instead, you'll hear about the day I got married. Four years ago, today!

Part one, two, three, four.

I last left off in my story, newly engaged AND pregnant! Like I said, I really had no intention of getting hitched just because I was knocked up. I had no problem being an unwed mother. I knew I'd rather do things my way, like always. Mikes step dad asked & offered to give us a wedding over at a very nice resort on Captiva that did gorgeous beach weddings .I in fact, don't remember this, Mike does. I totally might have taken that offer up, if I'd recalled it!!

My pregnancy was going fine, other than low iron & barfing on driveaway a few times. Mike was working, I was finding the world of Internet forums & crazy crunchy mommies.

Mike was trying to balance caring for me, as hormonal, lonely & crazy as my pregnancy was making me become, while juggling work &  his family, plus his new growing family..

Like I mentioned before, this is the whole section is the part of the story that I just dont know about sharing.
However, after thinking about it, I'm in no way bashing anyone or bad mouthing them or their character, I'm quite simply telling the story as it happened. I suppose that this is the dilemma people find when writing their biographies.. the people who hurt them & who made their story what it is might find themselves wishing they hadn't said such things, that would later be quoted in a book, but these things happened, and they ARE part of the story. Many of them have been forgiven, some have apologized, and some have done things far more shameful towards me since then, that made these actions seem quite pale in comparison.However, it's my story to tell & I'll not lie & say it was something that it wasn't..


This post has been up for several hours.Some of you have read the full story. Some of you have not. 
Mike decided he'd like to read the story of us, tonight. Apparently he would not like me to tell the story of how certain people in relation to him, and his life personally, have acted, or anything about them in my story, for the public to find & read on the Internet.
Tonight is my anniversary. He is my husband & no blog is worth messing with my marriage for. 
So, I have politely, and gracefully, which fuckinggaawddd is really hard for me, I am tingling right now people!!! respected his wishes & removed it.
I am quite sure I will have MUCH to say about this, later.

 At this point, the thought of getting married just wasn't even remotely in my mind.
....Several shittymonths pass....

This is where I decide I want to get married. I'd like to say first, that I had every intention of marrying Mike anyway, so the lack of romance in this part should be over looked, ok?

I think I watched Grays Anatomy, or some NOT REAL show that had something to do with consent for those who cant give such, medically. I found myself realizing, wait, isnt my MOM like, technically my guardian of consent, if I am unable to give it?? My mom is like.. in Ohio dude. How does THAT work?
This baby we were having was Mikes,obviously, and Mike & I had discussed our plans, should a medical emergency arrive, it just seemed odd to me that HE wasn't the one who was the decision maker. Someone had said that in the state of Florida, with out a paternity test that "dad" isnt really dad, unless your married.Is this true? Probably not.
There is no nice sweet way to say this, but I got worried, shouldnt we be married so that Mike had control over me & the baby should a medical emergency arise?
Plus, I'd be lying if I said that the religiousness of his family & the thinking that comes with that kind of faith that we should be man & wife before our bastard kid popped out may have swayed me a bit.
I DID like that aspect, of already being "legally bound in the eyes of God" , although I wasnt really sure I believed in God, I just kind of thought the whole thing had a nice ring to it.Literally, a nice WEDDING ring to it!

So, one day I said "Mikey? Lets get married." He of course was all of it, but wanted to make sure that was what I really wanted. I explained my thoughts to him & we smiled & both agreed, we wanted to be married anyway, so why the heck not?

We looked at the calendar. What was coming up...
May 4th.. I couldn't do that, being from Kent, that day just doesn't work for romance. May 5th.. Friday.. we could take off work for a long weekend.. Ok! That was it!!
I at the time, had no idea it was Cinco de Mayo, I just am weird & have a thing with "dates that sound good"

So, we told people we were getting hitched. Just family, I think Mike told his best friend, who was local to us at the time. I remember Mikes grandmother saying "Well, that will be nice for the baby."

We made the decision for it to just be the 2 of us, we'd go to the courthouse & then over to the islands (Captiva & Sanibel) for dinner & to celebrate.
My sister would be flying in the next week, couldn't we wait for her?
Why just us?
My decision to do that was because it felt so unfair, for some people to be able to be there, but the rest not. It certianly wasnt my families fault that they lived so far away while we decided to do this, and it was just luck, that local people were just that, local, when we decided to do this. I didnt want anyone to be left out, so we chose to leave everyone out. We made a plan, to do a "real wedding" down the road, for a vow renewal, complete with white dress, flowers & all at our original wedding destination, and the entire family could be there, then. This time it was about us, and not about who could be there & who couldnt.

So, my very pregnant self picked out a light blue dress, and we picked out rings. My fingers were too swollen for the rings I'd been given during the proposal. We picked out a nice gold band for Mike, and a gold & diamond band that was a ring I'd later wear on another finger, once my pregnancy was over.
We did paper work & made dinner reservations  & soon enough the day was here.

The day could have gone better. I remember our clothes laid out & we both headed to get ready, together. Mikes sister wanted to come use the computer & kept pulling Mike away to help her with something, I was pretty ticked, this was my wedding day after all. If I'd known at the time she was using the computer to deliberately hurt me with her family, I would have been even more pissed! It certianly seemed like just another day to everyone else, and that kind of sucked, it was my wedding day, after all, and that (typically) only happens once!

Eventually my hair was done, we were both dressed in our picked wedding clothes, the wedding CD I'd made ( Billy Idols White Wedding) was in the car & we headed over to the courthouse. We must have looked like a cliche, walking in. My gigantic belly in a blue dress. My family had sent me a ribbon-ed bouquet of white roses, my sister lent me earrings.. I had something old, new, borrowed & blue.

We walked into the courthouse on that hot May day, said our I Do's in the hallway, we both teared up,kissed & like that, we were married! I think it took a total of four minutes.

We went home to trade cars, I of course, didnt want to take the Jeep to the courthouse, my hair.. duh. We popped the top down, cranked White Wedding & headed to Sanibel where we ate our wedding dinner at The Jacaranda.
After a nice dinner we headed home, for our first night as a married couple.
Mikes mom came over, we had cake, they had wine & I had a sparkling grape juice. She took pictures, of us toasting, feeding eachother & posing with our flowers over my tummy. unfortunately, every single picture is missing a head. But thats ok, because the memory is still quite clear, four years later.

So here we are. Married for four years. Today Mike left for a final exam before it was light out, and his second exam of the day is from 6pm-8pm.  My mom is coming over this evening, to give me a bit of a break from the kids, so by the time Mike gets home I'm not horridly crabby.
I got Mike nothing, not even a card & he did the same.We both made this decision mutually, and yes, all of you ladies wondering, I AM cool with it. I've never been a huge fan of gifts on non holidays or non birthdays.. I don't need anything new & there isn't anything I want, so, it's a-ok with me!
Next weekend, or the one after, we'll likely go out for a nice dinner, to spend some time together remembering why we got married, and reminiscing over some good food.

I think there is something to be said for doing things non traditionally, as we did. Our story isnt cookie cutter, and it's certianly interesting! It certianly has showed us both that being students while raising children can be difficult (and I suppose thats why they say get your  college degree BEFORE starting a family!), but we both have a love & appreciation for how hard it's been. In just a short year, when school is over, our life will change, for the better. Making it through the hardest time of a young families life has strengthened us for the better future we've been pushing to make for ourselves.
I know we both chose our actions with love, and consideration & I can truly say that as difficult as it has been, doing things the way of un-typical, it's shown me that if we've made it through these four years...
Baby? We can make it through ANYTHING.

Happy Anniversary to my amazing husband. 
Thank you for putting up with me &  my madness for almost 6 years, 4 of which have been wedded sometimes  often,bliss.  
I love you Mike!!

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  1. To me, this was in fact a very romantic story.

    Breastfeeding is gross? Really? What planet is that guy from?


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