Friday, May 28, 2010

The Farm. And more pig nipples.

OK, I'd like to start by saying, holy fuck. It took me like, 4 days to write this effing post. I dont know if it's me, or Wordpress, or my lack of Wordpress fast skills. Yes, thats likely it, but geeze!

So,like I've been mentioning, we've been doing more "adventures" as we call them, in our house.

We've been trying to pick out destinations that are around here, with things to do for day trips. We're starting only going as far as an hour and a half to two hours away, but as it gets warmer outside we have some trips planned, a bit father from home, still in Ohio, but just fun stuff, we enjoy, like hiking, the outdoors,etc.

So, we went to Lake FarmPark. It was their 20th anniversary, the day before & I haven't been there since I was probably 9 years old. Last time I was there, I got cornered by a CRAZY turkey & a cow bit me.

For some reason, I wanted to go back! Me & farm animals have a leery relationship,you see..

I don't get how some people have sex with them ( what?! It happens, read the news!!!!) These things hate me.

I swear, ALL animals that are of "farm" classification seem to have something against me. Not in a mean intentional way, but I have been nipped, bit & scared shitless by so many of these animals, I can't even tell you. I'm like "all I want to do is pet you, cripes!"

Lucky for me, the farm seemed a bit more "contained" now. The turkeys "on display" were actually in coops. I am assuming they bit the wrong person at some point..just saying, it's a possibility!

First we saw the pigs. There were 10 cute little babies & I have to admit, I got kinda in "baby" mode & wanted to coo over them & their chunky little pork chop butts. I think that they almost look like little human baby butts, don't you? If you look closely, on one, it has a nipple, on its butt cheek. Seriously.

I bet he'll get teased a LOT for that shit.

"Haha, there goes little Peter Piggie, did you hear? He has a THIRTEENTH nipple! That's not even the best part, guess where it is... On his left upper Ham!!"

Cuuttee huh? Those were some massive nipples, on that pig too, but no. Nothing compared to the fucked up pig nipples,I posted earlier, in this weeks RTT.

We saw a goat, who I am convinced is crazy. He just had that look in his eyes...

[caption id="attachment_745" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="Crazy Goat"][/caption]

I am still learning Wordpress, so until I get that down, here is a link, to watch the crazy goats, crazy eyes in a short video-

Goat Movie


So, then we saw horses, and I think a donkey, or maybe, it was a mule.

Are you digging Andy's hat? Its a Junior Explorer, from Wallaroo's. These are UPF 50, which is awesome, because Andy overheats & has very fair skin. It's completely machine washable, so you can fold it & tuck it in your pocket, cram it in a bag & it folds out wrinkle free. I love it. Check them out!

[caption id="attachment_753" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="Less Pioneer Woman, more Fuzzy Terror."][/caption]


Hailey? <---Photobucket Can you tell me?

On we went, to the next stage of the farm, the circle of animals, sort of. This is where I was cornered, by a crazy turkey as a kid!

They were doing a sheep sheering demonstration, every few hours & we saw the participant. He was so fucking pissed. These things were making hilarious LOUD noises, that terrified Ryan. Every time it'd start he's jump, and run.

They have an awesome Hydroponics section. A whole building with kids stuff to do & learn & most importantly, touch! Ryan mostly just threw balls across the room, but, we were the only ones there, so it was sort of OK.

Next we hustled in the hot sun completely across the farm only to stop for a sip of water, before entering to have a class room file in right before us! This ended up being good, because while Ryan freaked out & had to leave.( He was such a fucking mess that day, after the sheep scared him, he was just a terror the whole time until the very end, when we got away from all the animals & they played on little tykes play grounds. Similar to the ones in their own back yards...) Andy & I got to sit and watch the kids go before us. This gave me time to ask about 10 times " Are you SURE you want to milk the cow?" Andy was sure, and probably annoyed at my nagging.

Finally it was our turn, the cow chose this moment to shift, after all the 20 munckins before us yanked on her boob. This promptly scared Andy & he resorted to just touching the cows leg, then asking to get down from the step stool. So, we touched the cow & left.

Of course, once we left, Andy freaked out that he wanted to milk the cow. I tried to convince him he just did (he wasn't buying it) so he just kind of threw a small fit, nothing loud or obnoxious, but the trying to throw a fit, kinda tired crying whining thing kids are awesome at. I sat there, sipped a water , told Andy if he was going to cry, we would just go home & he couldnt see anything else on the farm. I asked if he wanted that. I smiled, as a mom got to use Andy as an example to her daughter " see, you were just doing that & you stopped..." as she walked in the door, and smiled back.

The best part of the day came next. We walked to a giant field, with a playground. I think that was the best part for everyone. Sadly. They played & Ryan, Mike sat & enjoyed the open skies & I walked around talking pictures of cow eyes & stuff.

I also found golden mushrooms. I mean, hello hippie heaven Alice in Wonderland shit!

We finally headed home, Ryan zonked out with in a minute of the car starting. Andy whined a bit about wanting to milk the cow.. It was a reasonable success.

Plus, I got to see this ( turn up your speakers!)
Tell me about your own, farm experiences!

Have you been matched by a crazed turkey as well?

Seen anything gross/weird/hilarious/completely fucked up that you want to share?

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