Monday, April 12, 2010

Monday Minute..cause it's MONDAY, not Thursday.

Monday Minute


Today I read  a fellow bloggers words  in response to a question, on this Monday Minute Thing-a-ma-jij.

"holy bat fuck no"

And I was like "awesome..I like this blog" 

If you want to see the question, check out The Daily Dose of Reality, who I came across via the hilarious Momma Pixie Dreams, (loving this UBP!!) who is my new amaze-a-bitch.
Poor girl.. she has no idea what shes in for being my new BFF. She doesn't want me to lick her face, so this is how I am showing her love, by calling her a bitch..
WTF is up with women doing that??
I don't get it.. I just do it because everyone else does.. So, it's all your faults.
Whores.

So anyway.. here is my Monday Minute.. I hope I remember to do it again next Monday..you know me!

At what age did you lose your virginity?
14. Seriously.. What a whore right?
He was 19.. Mike is always like "what the fuck is wrong with that type of dude?? 14?? He was fucking a KID! That's SICK!"
Yeah..it was a pretty not amazing experience all around. Oh well. Photobucket
Look..it's a shrug smiley, and a green cat. Haha.

Any good sex tips or advice?
Always try the cow, before you buy it.
And if your drunk, make sure you don't use names.
(this is for you non married, non monogomus people, of course) 
Names get all fishy & weird when your drunk & on rebounds, or just looking for cock..if you want to get all technical. It's best to use pet names, like "baby" or "honey"

Lights on or off when you have sex?
Shades drawn, is my only requirement. A good change from our pre-children days..

Have you ever been caught in the act of having sex?
((thinky face)) Not by my parents...or the cops...
I've been caught pre sex, by cops. They don't like you sitting in cars, after dusk, in the park. I can cry on command & say "we had a fight & we're talking" .. Poor guys..look all concerend & ask if I'm ok & if I'd like to leave.. They think my boyfriend is going to hit me, but really we're like, 17 and can't have sex in bed, so we use cars. Sorry.

Ever catch your parents (or kids) having sex?
No, but as I grew up, I realized my parents spending all that time in the bedroom with the door closed on Sundays probably wasn't really naps, coffe & newspaper. That makes me barf.
And my kids are toddlers, stupid.
Both their parents may have been around the block but 2 & 4 is a little young, even with bad genetics.

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4 comments:

  1. Holy shitskies, thanks for linking up and following. You really don't know what you've got yourself into following me. Just sayin if you dig Michelle, I'm the male version ten times worse.

    I'll follow you back since you say whore and bitch and are all around fucking funny. Funny bloggers rule - just sayin. Was going to reply to your comment but no email's listed. Shoot me over an email, going to post something tomorrow but want to get y'all caught up.

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  2. I've never been caught in the act but once his father walked in right after so it was pretty obviously what was going on. So embarrassing.

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  3. Fuck you mean my kids are going to catch on to our nap excuse?! Damn!! Here I thought I was so smart!

    I'll be your Whore-Bitch anyday of the week!! ;-)

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  4. OMG...I totally love the response "holy bat fuck no". I would have fallen for her too.

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