Luckily, Mike gets it.
It creates for some raunchy jokes, bad humor & probably all around offensiveness, BUT, it works for us, in our home & creates some serious laughs.
It bringz the LOLz
((insert cat here))
When we went in to the Tattoo Parlor on Saturday the guy, Larry, did something I HATE.
He talked to Mike.
Like, HELLO I'M RIGHT FUCKING HERE.
You can respond to ME too!!
By the time we left, he did respond & talk to me (I exaggerate, keep this in mind, folks) but when we got home,it went a little like this;
Me- "WTF was up with Larry, he didnt like me. I dont like him either. In fact, I'm going to tell him I think he's stupid...AFTER my tattoo....maybe.."
Mike - "Ok...yeah, maybe telling him after is best. Then you can be all "fuck YOOOOO Larry!!!"
Me " YEAH!!! Fucking LARRY!!!"
This went on like, all day. I was all "Larry joke this & Larry joke that" because all my funnies are sporadic like that.
Mike & I were getting more & more excited for our tattoo date with fucking Larry the next day, and I'll give him this, Larry had a very nice portfolio.
I'm sure he is great at what he does & my moodliness is no true reflection on what kind of an asshole he may, or may not be.
Sunday I was doing my hair, and my makeup and getting all excited & prettied up when the phone rang.
LARRY, our little tattoo asshole guy canceled our appointment!!!
So I did what an self respecting woman would do. I cried.
..I dont deal well with dissapointment, what can I say!
Then I went through the stages of greiving. I got angry, and then I moped. Then I called Larry a bunch of names & decided what had happened was the little asshole forgot it was Valentines day, and was hungover with a pissed off girlfriend & I yelled at Mike a bit.
Mike called, to see if anyone else was working because let's face it, getting my mom to baby sit and BOTH of us out of the house is a special occasion. We don't have the luxury of dropping them at a baby sitters, or daycare or relatives at any time, we have to plan out our time & coordinate it with my mom, for Mike & I to free ourselves of children for a few hours.
Larry, the asshole was all genuinely sorry, Mike said, but I was like "fuck Larry. I hate him"
However, Mike SWEARS the guy genuinely felt bad, he said he was the only person working that day & was actually shutting down the entire shop, so no one else was available. He asked us to stick with him & even dropped the price of our tattoos..which earns him like.. 5 points back in my book. I guess.
So.. Mike reminded me that people groveling is something that I like ( I do.) so.. I decided that asshole Larry gets one more chance.
He better not fuck it up. Especially since he's going to be permanantly marking both my husband & I for the rest of our lives.
Dear Larry, you did this-
Don't let it happen again. K'thanks.