( No, THAT'S David Beckman.. the STORY is about my husband!)Today Mike, Andy & I went out to lunch. On the way back he visited a pet shop & then ran into BJs for some bulk products.
Mike is racing Andy
( who sat in the race car shopping cart ((shudder at the germs in it)) up & down the aisle while I looked at kids PJs. (Carters are a STEAL there!)
I think many women had one, or more, of those guys who just LOOVEEDD her but she never liked anything about. I had one, he was a wanna be stalker, not really, but sort of.. Offering me money to go get my nails done, to buy me alcohol as a minor.. basically anything to get to be around me. I only ever spent about 5 minutes with him, once. At the library, of all places. He mostly stalked me online ( not creepy stalked, but like..lonely nerd I love this pretty girl, stalked)
Who should turn down the aisle today but him! I dont even remember his name.. Scott? John? Something normal & average I will never recall.
Anyway, he sees me. I remember, he worked at the place my sister had her wedding rehearsal at..He looks at me then, the smile..no..grin..NO smirk. And ugh... I can see him now, as he was then..single, alone..too weird & creepy to have found anyone still it appears.
He heads down the aisle as Mike grabs a pair of Kenneth Cole "fashion briefs" When I say fashion briefs I mean high cut like MY undies type of briefs & throws them into the cart "I HAVE to have these!!" He announced LOUDLY.
I laugh, of course.
Right Mike..put em back.
"NO SERIOUSLY!!" He practically yells.. "I need to get out of my raggedy boxers & toss those boxer briefs.. these are EXACTLY what I need" ( Uh..high cut man panties???!)
Stalkerish dude stands 2 feet from us while Mike launches into a lecture about how he KNOWS I'll think he's SOO hot (( hip swing here)) in these, and I cant pretend they aren't sexy.. How he's dead serious, these are the ytpe of undies he wants to wear, FOREVER.
Then of course, he tells me how these are special underwear..the type you can "wear for 4 days with out changing"

Needless to say, I steer him out of the aisle quickly as can be, while mainly trying not to see if the weirdo chooses the same man panties for himself..
I whisper "shuttup I KNOW HIM!" And Mike says "Oh.. Maybe hes buying man panties TOO!!!" as we stroll away.
Yes. THAT is MY husband. Boy, think of all the people from BOTH of our pasts who are like, SO missing out on OUR specialness!!!!

















