Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Holydog, batman!

I will be completely honest & admit. I am NOT entirely sure what the fuck is going on. Tonight is as my dear husband explained it "parents holiday drinking night"

Yes. We havent drank in so long that I cant even count ( Ya know, like how I used to tally mark my wipe off board on the fridge back in my AA days,oops..didnt share that one with you guys..Interesting..Note for future post!!!) 

Notice a lack in my funniness??
I have been mourning the loss of my humor, as a non drinker, it just isnt there.
All the funny moments are wasted on REAL life.
I admit.
I stop & think "I could SO blog about this" opon my hilariousness.
Sadly, when it comes to writing its like "dude, that was SO awesome words cant even DESCRIBE it."
And all of you lose out.
Your life is lessen by the lack of my sharing my important comments about those damn previws before New Moon.
(Channing Tatum (is that his name? If it isnt, too bad, because a name that stupid deserves to be spelled wrong)  LIED to me during those previews. LIED I tell you. Dude. Totally used like, 3 parenthesis here. Sawweeett!)

BUT! Tonight, it is. I have 2 beers & gosh dangit. I'm tipsy.

So, I have NO idea other than I found this blog & I'm a wee bit close to blog stalking this poor woman because she makes me pee a tiny bit as I roll on the floor giggling like the future gay husband I met at BJ's swooning over yes, Fish crackes.

So, from what I have carefully pieced together, people are supposed to like, nag her husband to get her this dog.

I think, like I said, 2 beers... been awhile.... I can't be held responsible for what I say..

#1. There is a weiner dog there.
#2- There is also a  hairy penis. Wait, or else I'm a HUGE .. wait.. what do YOU think that is on the right side????

That right there, either way, is enough to have my devoted interest.

Then this chick gets all wack & throws in this shit like "kill"  "die"  "painful death" and shit & I'm like WHOA! I am a peacefulbynatureexceptwhenIbeatmyhusbandoverthatfuckingtoiletseatkindagal right?

So, obviously I'm all down with the dogs & am totally against like. DEATH for instance. So.

I'm going to do my part & say.

Dear blog chicks husband...

What the fuck man? 
Do you not see Carlos's (Carlos'es,Carloses,Carlos's,Carloses'??)  need for you? He's a fat pudgy, lonely weiner just looking for a home man.
It's Christmas, give a weiner some love.

Thanks bitch,



  1. Where's the weiner dog? The only dog I see is a basset hound!

  2. We wish to you and all blogger Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

    "Have a fantastic holiday"

    Great Sales Today Manhattan, NY
    'Management Team'

    Become a Fan on Facebook

  3. Holy shit, it took me a week to come over here and thank you for the spicy weiner dog pimping! I suck, hardcore. It's okay, you can say it.

    Dude!! Thanks so much for pimping me! And just to set the record straight, I don't really want anyone to die. Much.


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