"I was soo worried you wouldnt come back!!!" in response to your almost 3 year old yells "I COMING MOM" As he runs back from shutting his bedroom door, so his little brother doesnt "mess his room" to finish eating the rest of YOUR popsicle.
"I SAID dont drink that! It isnt a beer its a CANDLE!!!" As the same almost 3 year old "sips" moms mini beer mug shaped ( with foam) candle from her sorority days.
" Daddy does NOT need another beer Andy, you keep the beer to yourself!!!" ( as 3 year old pretends to serve daddy a beer bottle ( plastic, made for children, supposed to be juice) from "his kitchen" yes..he called it "dads beer".. lovely.)
"Get your hands OUT of the potty"
"You push your brother GENTLY!!!"
"Dont you touch that, that's HIS peepee!!!! You have your own!!!"
"I SAID STOP IT!!!"
"I am SOOO excited for your monster turd!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Stop blowing on the cat!"
"Thank you for telling Ryan your sorry that you hate him.." (hit comes out HATE sometimes for Andy)
"Go wake Daddy up.. OOHH Why Andy, silly goose!! Daddy was SSLLEEEPPIINGG!!!"
What do you find yourself saying that shocks even you??