Monday, January 12, 2009

I am sick and tired of your shit.



If I could rename today..it wouldnt be Monday. It would be called Shitterday.

I kid you not.

Today was Mikes 1st day back to school, so.. all of us started our day at 6:45am. That is WAY too early, FYI.

Mike leaves, after, I'll give him this..being very helpful & cheery.. As I get Ryan down for a nap, Mike calls.. He left his card in the ATM, when he drove around, the guy denied having the card.
Let me please note here..we ha dno idea that if you leave a card too long, it gets sucked in.

Mike is positive this guy took it, whats the # on my card to call? I call.. thewy have no record of our account, I need to talk to our CU. Well..they dont open until 9am..It is 7:30.

Blah blah phone calls yada yada.. Change Andys poopy diaper that I have to WRESTLE away from him, do the same with Ryan..although he hummed the whoile time & seemed to enjoy it!

Start doing chores.. I dont need a chore chart..I just need Mike out of the house. I got more done before 2pm today, than he did the entire MONTH he was home!!! Dishes..cat box..laundry..clean toilet... Gag & get really pissed b/c I KEEP telling Mike I am "tired of his shit..literally.. clean it off the damn toilet YOURSELF." Gag & think about above picture.. think.. I need to get back to blogging.. I'm going to start with a bitch about SHIT.

Andy goes down for a nap, Ryan goes down for a nap.. Ryan wakes up & sleeps in my arms for 2 hours.. During these 2 hours my dog whines & cries while sitting on the couch staring off into space..

(Note- Shes geriatric, senile & a touch retarded...Seriously.. I'm not being mean or silly..Look at her for Gods sake!!!)

Photobucket

So..I take her out THREE times in the course of 1 hour.. I realize..I need to pee.. cant pee myself..I'll have to clean that up too!! Juggle a sleeping baby as I go to the bathroom to come back to the living room & smell.. oh GOD..WTF IS THAT SMELL??


Oh!!!Echo was barfing on the couch..and while she barfed..she shit herself.. ALL OVER THE COUCH.

This is why we have a futon. We had a couch once..its a real bitch to take covers off couch cushions.. So,we keep a waterproof cover under a fitted sheet on our futon specifically b/c our dog is nasty. Someday we will have a couch.. but someday we will also no longer have Echo..sooo.. you figure it out.

As I peel off the shit/vomit couch coverings.. It hits me..

I have cleaned every single house members shit today... EVERY SINGLE ONE. Husband, kids, cat, dog... Not myself.. I started taking my pre natal vitis again after realizing I wasnt taking an vitamins so.. I "dont go".. Oh iron..the funny things you do to a body!!!!!

Then I vomited.. all over the dog shit/vomit..as I was putting it into the wash.. I grabbed the closest thing, a dirty dish towel, scooped up what I could, threw it in the trash, dry heaved a few more times & went on my FABULOUS day/way.

Oh... then Andy woke up.. freaking out.. Ryan was up.. crying.. And some chick from Samoea ( isnt that a cookie??????) who apparently has a baby with the guy I dated when I was 15 called me from Hawaii to ask me if I had feelings for him still b/c hes a *friend* on MySpace.. I told her she's majorly insecure in her relationship, to which she suprisingly said "I know, I really am.." & then listened to a really lonely girl talk to me for 45 MINUTES B/c I have a hard time hanging up phones with people..during which time, Andy managed to flip his eye lashes under neith his eye lid..

If this is a sneek at how this semester is going to go.. Let me be quite frank & say..

Please. Fucking shoot me. NOW.

4 comments:

  1. Holy Shitole (I just made that word up) Dude you need to go to bed and start your day over ((()))

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  2. Love the cartoon,& I have to admit, I did laugh, even tho I feel bad you had such a (dare I say it) shitty day. Just think of what power we women have - the world would stop if we didn't take care of, clean up after, feed & clothe... EVERYONE! We're the grease that keeps the wheel/world turning.... lol, mom

    ReplyDelete
  3. Clairey-

    Your stories are hilarious. Sorry Monday sucked!

    love, misch

    ReplyDelete

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