Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Why I love ...


What a creepy little weirdo!!!
Alien Puppy

Why I someday hope to own livestock....

Horse Farts

kitty petting parrot

Monday, December 22, 2008

Best. Card. EVER.


Of course, its fairly close to the rest of them, this is just one of the ones that really "hit home"


Check them out, and try not to pee yourself in the process.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Woo and Boo

Here are my current Woo's and Boo's


#I have 2 really amazing best friends. They help keep me SANE. Hailey & Sierra.. Thank you guys. For EVERYTHING you have both done for me over the last (few!!) year.

#I got a Christmas gift from my friend Hailey today, at a MUCH needed moment. I LOVE Willow Tree figures, I've been really wanting to start a collection of them but havent had the chance. She found me the perfect friendship one. Its called Heart & Soul, and has a little card with it that reads "Open Hearts, sharing souls, trusted friends." and it came at the most perfect time imaginable. I love it. Thank you Hailey!! I will always look at it & think of you ( I figure I'm the pony tail one?? What do you think???) and I really hope that I'll be able to finally start my own collection, and that your piece inspired the beginning of it!!!

#I am getting excited for Christmas!! Andy has been obsessed with "Train Movie" (aka the Polar Express) and when I am sitting there watching bits & pieces, its funny how excited I can still get! Holidays lose alot of fun as an adult, I think. Your so concerned with making it good for everyone else, you dont get to enjoy it yourself. But, I'm really excited for this year!! I will actually get gifts!! I bought all my own gifts when I found a great sale, or what I really wanted, or had a good coupon, or code or co-op and put them all in a box for Mike to give me. So.. no baking sheets this year!!! The boys got some really cool stuff from the co-ops I've been in all year. They are getting Zoobies, Bilibos, Babals, Happy Green Bee clothing & dolls ( yes DOLLS..for BOYS!!!) Hop Balls/Rody Ponies, some really awesome um..rubber duck infused bath soaps from Pampering Delights (its holiday shaped soaps around little ducks..SOOO cute) and some other nifty stuff I've forgotten about. I think I'm genuinely just excited for these toys to finally be out of my closet b/c I am excited for them myself!! LOL

# Thats another thing I'm WOO-iong about.Co-ops!! Group buying allows all of us to get items at wholesale prices, by buying in large quantities. So, it allows me to buy things for myself, my family & my children I couldnt afford to buy at retail prices!!

# My mom. We recently had a nice talk..and I love her. Woo mom.

And now for some boo..


# CRAPPY Drivers. No, I'm not talking about people who have accidents under their belts ( raises hands..) or people who sometimes speed.. I'm talking about those assholes who ride your bumper, or get in the fgast lane going slow, or pass you, only to slow down in front of you so you cant pass them, etc etc etc.

SERIOUSLY?? In my wildest fantasies there is a huge microphione/sign on my car.. so that I can say "HEY F-YOU" to the car next to me & they can hear it & it flashes at them while parked next to me or passing me.

I just dont get it.. do people RREEALLLYY think it will make me go FASTER if you are 2 inches from my cars ASS.

# People who CONSTANTLY are talking about " my faaabulous luxury car" or "my large swimming pool" or "I spent __ amount on this" In other words..people who CONSTANTLY flaunt what they have/buy/etc. I am all for being like "OMG I am SO excited!! I got this awesome deal so I got ____" but I've come across some people who I cant think of ONE thing they have EVER said with out mentioning a price tag, or a designer, or to call other people poor, ot make cracks at others lifestyles while boasting their own,etc. It mostly just makes me sad.. I mean, how bad must their lives be that they have nothing better to do than to put other people down to boost themselves?? Its sad, and pathetic. And I will pray for them.

I'll go ahead & keep this short for tonight.. Today has been an AMAZINGLY bad day for me. And I could BOO all night long.. but, I wont.

What are your woo's & boo's of the day???

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I changed my mind..

I give the Roomba an A!!!

I lock it in a room & it cleans for me!! I havent had to pull out the manual vac since we got it!!! It would be an A+ if it had a longer battery life..But, I am revoking my previous grade & replacing it with an A!!!!

Oh..and Andy calls it "Moms vaccuum" and says "Robot cleaming" when I turn it on..he also likes to pet it & say that its *soft* but he runs when I turn it on...

Thursday, December 11, 2008


I have ALWAYS wanted a Roomba. I think we first saw one in real life at Mikes grandmothers condo in Florida when we went to visit them one weekend. I thought "wow..she says it does work..hmm" But the $300 price tag was quite a turn off.

Mike & I have always discussed getting one, when he was working at Lowes we REALLY considered it. But, no, we always stuck with a faithful old normal vac!

WELL! There is this website, that every woman should probably ban from their accessable websites..

Unfortunately, 2 of my best friends LOVE it & they held me at gun point until I caved & looked at the page myself ( what? I feared for my life, OK??)

Bad idea.. I found a Roomba for $60, with free shipping. Mike & Idecided to splurge& snatched it up & called it our Christmas gift to eachother. (Wow, 2 years in a row I've bought MYSELF a vac for Christmas..hmm) Free shipping apparently meant over night express from Amazon, which was lovely, of course.

The baby is BURNT orange.. You know, that color that they creator spitefully handed his 5 year old a crayon box & said "pick out the UGLIEST color son.." to color a handful of Roombas before he quit his job. However, their loss, my gain!!

Andy calls it "No touch, MOMS vaccuum!!!!" and he & Ryan watch it eyefully from a distance while it cleans the poop out of my floor ( not literally, of course..but it cleans alot of crap off my floors..just not fecal matter.. thats gross)

I have to say.. For $60, its impressive. However, I'd be REALLY pissed, and making a quick return if I paid $300 for one of these suckers.

-Its round, do those little corners dont get taken care of.

-Its also not that perfect of a design to empty the filter..Mike emptied it, and then used the Dust Buster to clean up its mess, with out the remote, you cant spot clean, so you have to wait for it to follow its cycle around the room, if you only need one little area cleaned, that isnt too helpful.
- If you buy it for a steal, like we did, getting accessories is kind of crappy.. I'd like a wall docking base for it.. A wall docking base is close to $50..I'm not going to buy a base for $50, when I paid $60 for the damn appliance itself ya know???
-It plays a sad little tune when it sout of batteries, which makes me laugh, so that adds major bonus points.Poor little robot..dying, singing a lonely tune..
-Its ugly. I've always had a penchant for ugly things..I believe in my heart they have feelings & that poor brown game player, or the ugly orange sweater stuffed in the back of the rack is sad that no one loves it.. So, It makes me happy I gave a fugly Roomba a home.
-It makes MIKE happy..I havent seen the guy this excited for something since.. hmm..I SHOULD say since Ryan was born..but he recently got a new computer game..and he was PRETTY excited about that....
-I turn it on, lock it in the bedroom & it cleans for me. Whats NOT to love about THAT??
I give it.. hmm.. a B plus. It could definately be better. I thought perhaps the reson it wa smarked so low, it was the crappy old model. But, the sale on it lasted only a few hours, its at $150 right now as a "normal on sale price" So.. thats not the case..It does work!!! However, I have a feeling that the newest possible model of it (which is likely $300+ dollars) might have some of the kinks worked out of which I complain.
SO.. The model 4000 gets a B plus, it sure could be better, but it certianly could be worse!!!
I liked the review I read on Amazon.. "If it could cook, do dishes & laundry..I woul dget rid of my wife"
I suppose for me.. if it could watch TV and play computer games.. Oh.. hmm.. I guess that doesnt really apply to me!!!!

Here is how I really feel..

About taking your kids to get pictures done.

I've never had professional pics opf my kids done except that one in the hospital.. I take tons of photos, so..eh I just never really bothered to.

I really wanted to do Holiday photos this year, the first Christmas with 2 boys! We cancelled a session b/c of course, not only are Holiday budgets tight, but the end of a semester is always tough for us financially.
So, my darling mother paid for a photo session for the boys for my big Christmas gift. I really just wanted to have pictures of my boys, taken by someone other than me, for my house & my own memory.

WELL!! The appointment was for 3:20.. Mike had an exam he had to leave for at 4pm. I love you Mike, but husbands are that helpful, they just sort of stand there with the "yep, thats my kid" grin. The lady is trying to get Andy to not be scared of her, with a frog, which worked.. but as soon as she would get him to cross his legs, Ryan would get into position, Andy would move. She went to grab a *helper* and I believe I heard the words " not going so well.." being uttered.

Yada Yada.. I could only find ONE pair of black socks as I got them dressed & for some STUPID reason, put them on Ryan thinking Andys pants were long enough & blue socks would be ok. Well, duh. Andy moves, he crosses his legs, etc. Ryan just sits there, so, I got to hate myself a little bit every time those damn blue socks popped out. I'll say this.. it could have gone ALOT worse, but it could have also gone alot better. I'm positive that they were glad when they decided to be done. I could hear them muttering "they're done.. " with a THANK GOD tone under their breath..

Then the fun starts. MIKE LEAVES. Not that my wonderful husband wasnt helpful to begin with, but I get to sit there with Andy trying to play with devil child of mom bitch over there who is showing Andy how to stand on chairs & jump off while Mom ignores my "boys" smile at her & just glares around like shes the ice queen. I'm juggling Ryan, who is getting crabbier by the second, trying to tell Andy to knock it off whil ehe says "No!!!" and trying to pick pictures.

By the time I was done picking them ( they are ready in 15 minutes) I just blurted out "I can come for them tomorrow, right?" the girl tol dme Absolutely.. and I said "I'm sure you want us to get out of here just as bad as we do" Paid, and we left..

Off to a car ride full of "ICE CREAM" screams (Oh, I forgot to mention..after 5 minutes I told him if he was good we'd get ice cream & he talked about it until we finalyl did!!) & Ryan practically hyperventilating..

SO.. what do I REALLY think about taking your kids to get pictures done??

I do NOT recommend it. EVER.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Really Easy Big Bread

Today I made one of my favorite bread recipes.

Outrageously Easy BIG Bread

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

2 packs of yeast
1/4 cup warm water
2 cups hot water
3 tablespoons turbinado
1 tablespoon salt
3 cups flour
1/3 cup vegetable or corn oil
3 cups flour


Note: This recipe works best if all ingredients are set out, ready to go, in advance. Also, make sure the turbinado, salt, flour, and oil are measured in the exact amounts called for.

Pour warm water into a small ceramic bowl and add the yeast, but DO NOT STIR. Set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, pour hot water over the turbinado and salt, then stir with a wooden spoon to completely dissolve. Combine 3 cups flour with the water mixture. Pour the oil on top of the dough mixture then add the yeast mixture on top of that, but DO NOT STIR. Top with the remaining 3 cups of flour and mix well. (I begin mixing with the wooden spoon but I very quickly have to move into squishing the dough with my hands.) At this point, the dough should be pliant and moist, but not gooey. Cover the bowl with a damp towel and set aside to rise for at least 45 minutes. (I've left it for almost two hours.)

On a lightly floured cutting board or countertop, divide the dough into half. (This is when I recruit someone to knead the dough, but the recipe actually calls for no kneading; I've done this recipe many times without kneading anything, and it always turns out really good.) Flatten each half into roughly an oval/rounded rectangular shape, about 1/2- to 3/4-inch thickness; then roll the dough lengthwise and place on an ungreased, but very BIG, cookie sheet. (If you don't have a very large cookie sheet, use two cookie sheets, one for each half of the dough.) Cover the dough with a moist towel and set aside to rise again for another 45 minutes (or longer).

After the dough has risen the second time, preheat the oven to 375 and bake for exactly 23 minutes. If you can keep everyone from digging in right away, allow to cool for about 15 minutes and then enjoy. (Also, before the bread bakes, you can slit the top of each lump of dough a couple of times and brush lightly with some kind of egg substitute. The glaze helps the bread come out with a slightly crunchier crust. I don't usually bother.)

I personally, leave out the sugar. It makes it too sweet for a dinner bread. I'm eating a warm piece with some soy butter riiigghtt now. Yum Yum!!!


Beware of the Doghouse- Hilarious! - The most popular videos are here

Thursday, December 4, 2008


So..I figured..as much as I've been bitching lately..I oughta go ahead & share some things I currently am LOVING.

1- Vitamin C Toner from Pampering Delights. For you Northerners, you know how when you wake up in the morning in the winter & your so pale you look dead? (Please..dont even pretend I'm the only one this happens to..) I KID you not, I put this on after putting my contacts in, in the morning & My skin GLOWS. Typically, I just use bronzer ona daily basis, if I use this, I dont use bronzer. My skin glows with that pink "flushed" look that people get after running a mile ( or so I hear..I've never run shit in my LIFE) It is 98% Vegan Organic & a TOTAL steal at $3 a POP!!!!

2- Also from Pampering Delights.. Who I might add, I think has actually replaced my Victorias Secret body scrub... I am LOVING her Lemon Sugar scent.I've only in my whole life found ONE scent similar & it was a one time Bath & Body Works scent..
This scent is TO DIE FOR.

MY FAVORITE product from her is by far the foaming body smoothie.. Its unlike anything I've ever found in a store..It is a scrub that also lathers. It actually leaves such a moisture on your skin that I dotn shave after using it because I can literally see on my razor, the mositurizers my razor takes off!! ( this is a GOOD thing people..) lol. I LOVE LOVE LOVE her products.. I mean..I can not talk enough about how FABULOUS they are. I ordered soem "manly" scents for Mikes Christmas gifts from her & she even customized the labels on the products for me!!! Pamela is AMAZING to work with.. Oh.. and shes also my long lost twinsie.. But even if I didnt like her..I couldnt live with out her stuff.. Its truly addicting.

#3- I am loving my absolute favorite tart.. EVER. For those of you who know.. I burn tarts instead of candles..I buy from Mothers who make products in their homes to they can earn money while staying home with their kiddos, and tarts are avery popular product. My favorite tart maker is a SAAWWEEET little lady named Mandy. She owns Cat Lady Candles...I will say this.. she is actually a dog person..
I know..I was shocked too.. BUT..I understand. Cats are real assholes.
ANYWAY!!! She & I are swing mates, and she actually named a tart for me.. my FAVORITE scent.. CLOVES. Its called Claires Cloves. She told me today it keeps selling out of stock..and I know..this is just because people LOVE me SO much..it has nothing to do with the fact that she makes a really amazing product..
Okay so maybe it does..whatever.. If you like home fragrence..I STRONGLY suggest you push your Yankee candle away, and check her out. I light one tart & my ENTIRE home smells for HOURS. The scent is simple and sexy..JUST LIKE ME!! ;-)

#4-Pushing Daisies. Mike & I started watching this when it first came out.. Then Mike would "not be in the mood" so I'd miss a bunch of TIVO'd episodes..this season..I watch it A-L-O-N-E. And it is truly unlike any other show out there..it's a PERFECT Claire show. I believe I named my cat, Chuck, for the main female lead. And I also think..I am digging Lee Pace.. He's sorta hot..in a pie maker kinda way!

#5- Ryans mouth. There is just something SO perfect about a baby's breath. (well..breastfed babies atleast.. I've heard that formula stuff is pretty nasty!) Its a sweet, sour milk sort of scent..And I admit it..I straight up put my nose to Ryans open mouth & HUFF. Yes...I am a mouth huffer. And I'm proud of it!! If I could bottle that scent I'd make bazillions..there is nothing sweeter than a babys breath.. And dont think I'm crazy..TONS of other women think the same ( some even like breastfed poop... I'm not THAT nuts..Ryans smelled like chedder chex mix!!!!!)

..Thats all for now.. I'ms till ppreeetttyy cranky over here, So, be thankful you got this.

I have to get back to my life now.. Hopefully none of you will be joining me soon.
(yet another thing I LOVED.. Paris Hiltons my New BFF!!!)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Free Advice

...The next time you'll have to pay for it.. ok??

#1- Answer your phone "Hello" or "Hi" even. DONT SAY "What?" Its rude, tacky & disrespectful. It takes the same amount of energy, yet doesnt make people feel like crap.

#2- Be nice to your kids. Someday, they will be choosing the people who wipe your ass for you.

Tis the season...

..So here is MY holiday wish list

  1. -Trade husband for seeing eye/trained helper dog. Those puppies are SWEET.
  2. -Wii plus Wii Fit.. to get rid of the extras my sweet boys left me with.
  3. Calorie free chocolate. ( What.. no one has created that yet?????)

See?? I dont ask for much!!

I've been reasonably nice this year.. I give to charity when I can.I make my husband do my parents big yard of leaves so they dont have to rake themselves when I really could use his help at home, I dont litter, I care about the environment. I give advice whenever asked to help people with problems & I never complain that they dont listen, I just keep wasting my time politely!! I do lots of good things.. SO!

Santa.. Dont be an asshole. Kay??

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I am SO over you.

I am SERIOUSLY over people who use me, people who take me for granted,and people who walk all over me.

I am SO over the people who "expect" things of you. Who dont consider, HEY!! I have a life to attend to to.. oh.. no no no.. let me take care of YOURS.. MINE can wait, of course!!!

I am over people who GUILT you. I "joke" guilt with Mike (IE- "Ohh..its okay.... I'll just pass out from hunger so you can watch this TV show...Just try to shake me when its over so I can eat..") But the people who truly CONSTANTLY have a "poooorrr me" about everything so you just feel guiltily obligated..THEY SUCK.

I am over people who are CHEAP. It is ONLY money. The whole "you cant take it with you" is popular for a REASON. If you need to remind people of gifts they've been given, or favors you've done, or basically be a cheap ass. Heres the deal for me.. Dont get me ANYTHING. Dont give me anything, dont DO anything for me. Because THAT, is wasted when you later bitch about it/hold it over my head/complain/whine/moan.

I'm not saying "go nuts: with buying things, I'd be perfectly fine if no one ever bought me or gave me a gift again. Its the attitude I dont like, the ((scoff)) Well I got you_____"

Wow..and I really appreciated that, I'm REALLY sorry I twisted your am until you had no choice to get me __ and now your obviously remorseful. Seriously?? STFU.

I am over the "friends" who dont have ANYTHING to say to me unless oh!! THEY NEED SOMETHING.

I am over the whole "but they're family" thing. THIS one my friends, has been a LONG time coming, I've just never had a "reason" to put it in writing. If you had a friend, who called you names/who treated you badly/who hurt your feelings/stole from you/etc.. You would NOT keep them in your life...RIGHT??

I cant think of a sane person who would say "Please, more!!" So WHY does EVERYONE always say "well.. they're my mom/dad/sister/brother.." like its OKAY to let someone treat you like this??

WHO CARES. Wow.. I mean..gosh.. I'm having a bad day..I guess I'm going to go kick my sister in the face because HEY!! She'll forgive me.. I mean..we ARE family after all!!! Well..my sister is so nice she'd probably cry apologizing for whatever she did to make me kick her in the face.. But a typical person would say "Wow.. F you..You kicked me in the face.. Dont talk to me again!"

So why do people keep negative, hurtful,m even abusive people in their lives when they BRING THEM DOWN, for NO other reason than, they are family??For example.. I love my mom & all but if she treated me super SUPER shitty.. mother or not..I dont need that in my life..and hell, I'd HOPE my family would do the same to ME!!!

Sorry..I just dont buy it.

I'm over people who offend you, you kindly tell them "Look..when you do ___ it upsets me for ___ reason" and they KEEP doing it. Or, when you even give people a heads up "Hey..I'm feeling a bit sensitive about ____ could you not bring it up so I dont feel even worse than I already do?? And not only do they bring it up..but over the next few months, or even YEAR.. they REPETIVELY bring it up.. Despite how many times you ask..either they DONT GET IT. Or they dont CARE. I dont know which is worse.

To sum it up.....

I'm over people who...

  • act like they're your kids parents

  • give too much advice

  • are rude about parenting choices

  • are offensive/think they know it all

  • know NOTHING

  • dont do research on their own

  • are mean to animals

  • take someones word as best & dont question things

  • kick dogs

  • eat soft eggs ((gag))

  • act like fart jokes arent funny

  • cant take JOKES

  • are assholes

  • work in customer service/with the public who have gigantic sticks up their asses

  • dont brush their teeth..seriosuly dude.. Gross.

  • get all up in my busssiness

  • pronounce it "li-barry" LI-BRA-RY

  • saw "worsh" ..where is there a R is WASH???

  • dont wash their face in the morning..when I was little.. I mean like..third grade, the kids with eye boogers.. Gross.. HTF hard is it to wash your face?? COME ON.

  • snort snot. BLOW PEOPLE, BLOW. This is why tissues were created!!!!

  • use me

  • guilt me

  • are cheap ( not cheap as in.. penny saving but like "OMG..I spent $5 on this for you!!!" @@

  • people who just dont "get it".. EVER.

  • People who THINK they "get it" but..REALLY really REALLY..D-O-N-T

And last but not least..

I am SO over people who are just plain fucking stupid.

I'm off to read God's blog..I see he was making something in the microwave last update...