Monday, October 27, 2008

Feeling honest...

I am tired of people not caring about my feelings, people who are selfish ( yes i WAS selfish, but as a teen...your SUPPOSED to be..whas you excuse as an ADULT?) I am tired of people whining like they are 7 years old, I am tired of manipulative, self centered, snobby people. Grow up & get over yourself. Your NOT that fabulous. If you were..you wouldnt need to toot your own horn moron!

I am tired of Mike being right and I am ..not sad..not let down.. just.. disgusted, maybe..that all those "best friends" who were guys , that Mike insisted only liked me b/c they wanted a chance with me, DID drop off the face of the earth when I was off the market.. I always have been stupidly trusting of people who dont deserve it, now havent I?

I am tired of all the fake friends I have. People I've known for YEARS who only have something to say when they dont have anyone else who can understand.. Girls who find themselves pregnant, or in a relationship issue & oh gee.. they cant talk to their friends who arent there yet..but Oh.. CLAIRE! SHE'S there.. and its only when I am of use, that they come to talk to me.. I want SOO badly to tell them where to go when it happens again & again, but I instead, turn the other cheek & offer sincere helpoful advice.. Maybe it IS time I stop & stand up for myself.. Thats the only way it will stop happening, right??

I believe some people, MANY people, never truly "leave highschool" And I feel sad for them. It must be miserable to be SO worried about what everyone thinks of you, being fake, feeling worried about being judged..

I am a jealous person. I never knew it, then again..I never had anyone worth being jealous over, until I met Mike.

I am tired of hearing "well the __(baby,toddler,child) wouldnt let me.." You weigh at the least 100 lbs more than your child..what do you mean THEY wont LET you?? COME ON.

I really dislike how people are so very fake. They are one way in front of friends/some family, etc..but thats different from who they REALLY are. I've seen ALOT of this before, and there is nothing prettier than a person who smiles for a camera out of happiness.. but there is nothing good in pictures of people who are so worried about how they look that each picture shows the tenseness in their bodies & faces. it shows on film ya know... being YOURSELF, and having the confidence to say :if they dont like me as I am" and to RECOGNIZE that you ARE self conscious & to still be, but to stop putting on an air.. THAT is gorgeous, admirable, and all around FABULOUS.

I LOVE people who gift for the reason of giving to do good. Paying it Forward.. nothing in return but the pleasure of doing something nice for someone, that they know, or not. I've had several people do this for me in the last few weeks, and it always happens when I least expect it and most need it.. And I pass it on too.. So in turn, it comes back to me again. For this I am grateful.

You can not accept the light if you can not pass on the light as well.....In order to enjoy whats been given to you, you must also know the pleasure of giving that happiness to someone as well. If you keep it to yourself, you dont get the joy that comes from sharing!


I can count my FRIENDS on one hand.. And I appreciate them very much.. people dont get it.. those people have obviously never had a TRUE best friend... I'm lucky enough to be someone who does know..

Mike said it snowed today on his way home from school.. I cant wait! I bought myself a new winter coat..FINALLY!! I had a bad day today & Mike decided I needed to go find it TODAY. He's sweet..

I feel so guilty every time I go outside, not letting those kittens in..I know, its what sbest for US.. But I worry about THEM. Sweet bugs..

For some stupid reason I decided to get a flu shot this year..the nurse was a real bitch, to be quite honest..Anyone who doesnt even smile or blink when a child is being super sweet & cute in front of them, cant be a fabulous person, in my opinion.. Sure enough, I have a black bruise the size of a quarter on my arm. Not only does she hate kids, but she was a crappy shot giver.. Just my luck.

I am having a bad day... can you tell?? LOL! I have SOO much I want to say, but hold alot of it in..I figure, this is a tiny step in the right direction..If someone reads this & doesnt like what I've said.. I really dont care..dont come back to my blog then!!! I NEED to start unloading.. I know this was started to be about the kiddos..but this is my place too.. So.. Yeah..

Hang on, or get out.

4 comments:

  1. sl(((((((((((Claire))))))))))))))) YAY you for being honest.. it's your space and you should be honest. I don't know what happened to spawn all that but you know I'm an e-mail or phone call away :)

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  2. well first of all..
    my boys have been giving "cheers" with Daddy for years and I never found a damn thing wrong with it, so in response to your video.."bravo"!
    Oh, and Ryan's adorable..give him the ball already mom!
    And in response to you and your honesty..you better just stick with it, we all need to hear others repeat outloud some of the fears and feelings we feel inside.

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  3. Amen twin! I really could have written that blog. When will people grow up and realize what petty little bitches they are??!! And I got to see the toddler is in charge today and it made me sick that parents let their kids act like that in public. If this was a first time with this particular person I would have had some sympathy, but it is the second time with that child and doesnt even include all the times with her other one. @@

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